Thanks for the Good Times

By Commissar Patty
(The Commish)

Great season hockey people! Have a great Spring and Summer. See you next year!

That's It...

Commissar Patty
(The Commish)

That's all folks. We played the last outdoor game this Saturday. Now, there's nothing but the crying left. Oh sure, it wasn't a big turnout, 6 players in all – but we managed to cobble together a hockey game of sorts. Though it may have been a whimper instead of a thunder, it was good fun, skating, passing and shooting for the last time outside. Even the "drunk guy" managed to have a great time too! Despite the undignified crawling on his knees to the parking lot to get a stick out of a car. Or, when we asked him not to barf on the ice, but over the boards, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, thanks. Ahh, great attitude and good times, that's what it's all about!

A location switch was thrown in the mix this Saturday too. Sadly, warm weather decimated our usual, reliable home ice of Strachauer Park, in Edina. But, even with temperatures exceeding 40 degrees plus, our location change to Normandale Park proved to be an excellent alternative. The ice at Normandale Park was freshly flooded, hard, and awesome. What more do you want?

Now it's on to the CHAMPIONSHIP game! Augsburg Arena...we await your punishment.
The Big Fart F-er Hockey Trophy beckons your VICTOR!

Hockey Day...F-er Style

Commissar Patty
(The Commish)

There was a din of possibilities on the fringe about what people were planning for "Hockey Day in Minnesota" over the last week. I for one had not heard or grasped the meaning of the so called celebration until much later. In fact, one might say that in F-er Hockey Country, we celebrated it organically, naturally, the way hockey has always been meant to be played... outdoors.

In some ways, Hockey Day was a more meaningful celebration to those that played than even yours truly, (The Fearless Leader) had realized. After all, isn't a celebration something everyone generally acknowledges and sets aside some reflective time into, and make "Plans" to participate? When people say..."Hey Commish... did you celebrate Hockey Day in Minnesota?" Perplexed and confused at such an audacious question, I simply reply on behalf of all the F-er Hockey players..."Celebrate?" "F-that, I lived it!"

In the end what do we all remember about Hockey Day... 14 players having fun, making shots, scoring goals, and eating AWESOME donuts.

The Full Meal Deal

Commissar Patty
(The Commish)

What's that old Jiminy Cricket song about "Wishing upon a star, something, something," huh? Well, I don't remember, and I don't care quite frankly, it's a stupid analogy. All I know, is this kid went to the BK and ordered up a value meal with the super size fries and some extra sauce...I call it the "Full Meal Deal." And don't tell me, you weren't full when you were done playing...cuz I was SICK! Sick on being full.

This Saturday, F-er Hockey did not disappoint – not by a long shot. It was excellent. We had perfect weather and perfect numbers – which was a break through from our earlier and colder games of the year indeed. I'm not going to lie to you, at least not much – it did have me worried a little bit not having some critical big the number games earlier, but my faith in the F-er Hockey commitment revealed itself with generous velocity this last weekend. Not to mention a nice infusion of new players of spunk and generation to boot, I might add.

Now, I hate to dampen down on a pretty good time...being Mister Positive Ultra Vixen I am – but Debbie Downer (that nag that she is) says... "Gentlemen, we are in a critical, and precarious state of PUNCTUALITY!" Of course your Fearless Leader is not without blame in this matter, showing up late after taking a desperate and crucial pit-top (need not elaborate)... But, good golly BOYZ, we were DANGEROUSLY close to losing our coveted "Home Ice," to hockey strangers of an unknown and a potentially unsavory kind! When I walked into the parking lot of Strachauer Park, happy go lucky and carefree, and coming upon unfamiliar fellas – chatting about a "game" already being played (on our rink) – a cold and foreboding, poltergeist like shroud covered my laissez-faire demeanor. I was SCARED! So what do guys like us, playing at place like this need to do about it....well? Well? Okay...so...yeah...you know...do something...and stuff...like I said...okay. Get there earlier! So other guys don't take our ice dammit. Geez. Remember, it is important to arrive before 7:45 am, with an 8:00 am puck drop – sharp. Like He-Man "Master of the Universe" says..."By the POWER of GREYSKULL!...be there a little earlier next time."

And Bill West brought delicious donuts. Thanks Bill.

Yeah it was cold...but so what.

Patty The Commissar
(The Commish)

Yeah it was cold...but so what. Cold is relative isn't it? Something to contemplate when biting discomfort settles into your mind, telling you that you don't like it. Many of us have been there, wrestling with the notion that you won't go out when it's too cold. Who wants to face it. Who can stand for the misery to the extremities. Who can deny that our digits – toes and fingers want to scream for escape. And why not, the nagging pain of the cold always turns us away from doing the things we love. Unless your a F-er Hockey Player!

With feet aching, nose frozen, lungs burning...we skate, shoot, and score. That's the good stuff.

So we do it!

Sunshine Super Stars

Patty the Commissar

(The Commish)

Oh goodie two shoes... hockey outside. It's dark, it's cold, it's inconvenient – so what can you expect, huh? It's really not my place to say, but if you missed playing hockey this morning I've got nothing to give you. What can I say ... it was PERFECT. In fact, the conditions were too good to miss really. The temperature, the sunshine, the early warming house opening – not to mention the classic donuts we've come to love and cherish. I know it's not polite to gush and stuff, but dammit it was SWEET, no actually it was "The Suite Life of Zack & Coty!"

It's been a funny F-er Hockey year no doubt. It seems like we've been caught in some kind of vortex of bad weather. Every Friday it has snowed or rained the day or night before, making an excursion to rink a doubtful endeavor. Maybe, we are just caught in an unfortunate pattern? I even loaded up the car with all the shovels I could muster – anticipating the monotonous tedium of chucking snow off the rink. Luckily, that was not the case. Whatever weather nightmare we must endure...

it came to an end this morning.

The action was abundant and classic in quality. More players, more passing, more goals, more banter. Period. In a way, it may have been the right game for the right time. A VOID really, that had grown tired and desperate. In a way, that desire became a want – a yearning to fill an empty bucket that was full of meteorological disappointment.

It was in fact, an awesome game of...Sunshine Super Stars!

F-er Hocky – Back in Business!

By Commissar Patty
(The Commish)

After two weeks of being shut out – F-er Hockey was back in business this last Saturday. And a beautiful day it was too I might add. Sure it was cold, but we've played in colder. This Saturday, it was a paltry -2 below at first. But it warmed up nicely to around 10 degrees. Perfect, for a sweet January morning in my distorted book. Surprisingly, after our forced hiatus, the turnout was small, due to circumstance and schedules. I'm certain the cold weather would never in my mind, never, be an accuse not to play F-er Hockey? Who could forget our EPIC -17 degrees below zero game last year? Legend in the Halls of F-er Hockey! I know John Christiansen still talks about it, minus finger tips and all. Since I know our group is tough...I would hate to see a reputation of sorts, manifest that it's too COLD to play our style of hockey. What a sad day that would be...indeed.

Play it good – we did. Or so the Yoda of Hockey told us. Nearly an hour and 45 minutes of solid, non-stop hockey. If you wanted to skate your butt off and get a great workout, and get all the passing and scoring opportunities you ever wanted – this was it. I was SICK, sick of the amount of hockey I had to play. No substitutions, very few breaks, and very little banter – there was no time for NON-SENSE with this crew! It was particularly awaking to be on the team that was under assault by a relentless and tenacious passing barrage. Though we may have held our own, and scored some, one thing is certain – Humility is the losers chum in hockey. The score...don't ask?

In the end, happiness is a box of donuts! Thank you "Master of Donut."