Let's get it on girlfriends!

By Commissar Patty
(The Commish)

And it's on! The 2010-2011 F-er Hockey Season has officially started. No more looking back to the good, sweet, wholesome hockey times of the past. Last year is over and there's no going back. All you can do is cry a little and let go...no more blubbering in your coffee wishing you can live the past glories. As the Fonz says..."Sit on it Potsey!" So it is with another year. Another year to make amends or break new records, or to try and hope you can do better. You wish. Tell that to Tom Bosley bub.

As you know, I like hype. Hype is a good thing. It's a way of getting people JAZZED about something awesome, or about to happen. In this case here, our opening 2010 season. But don't get me wrong, I also don't like to beg...much. So, when it came to getting the word out about the up coming season, I tried to keep it simple and direct. Oh sure I may have mocked the comforts we had grown accustomed to – like, cycling, swimming, sun bathing, playing with the kids, or miscellaneous visits to Korean massage parlors, you know stuff like that. But, I always tried to stay positive about any future chances of conquest and glory. In the end, I feel the fruits of my loins proved substantial with our excellent turnout this morning indeed. Twelve players in all! With the usual grouping of Stars and Villains too boot. In particular, The Bullman staked out a territory of NOTORIOUS early, even before he hit the ice. In no uncertain terms...beware fools, there is going to be some "Hard-Law" this season. As for the rest of the players – they were ready, willing, and jazzed to perfection! The City of Edina, Minnesota also rose to the occasion as well, with their usual excellent and timely quality of ice too. Yours truly...felt satisfied and validated...as usual.

Of course what would be LOST if we had not played for something of value, hmmm? A measure of substance is the name of the game we play for. And since I did not want to disappoint our first game of the season – at exactly 7:25am this morning I bought donuts. You know, the classic kind. The kind of donuts a man is used to. The regular kind of donuts that are not sucky. I hate sucky donuts and these weren't. Straight from the Holiday Pantry. There was an excellent variety of choices an F-er Hockey Player would love. Plain cake donuts, chocolate cake donuts, white sprinkled donuts, glazed donuts, chocolate raised donuts...

So...to our first non-sucky game of season...Well done my friends...pleasant dreams...

Conquest & Glory! Championship Game!

By Commissar Patty
(The Commish)

Conquest and Glory is the name of this game, indeed! Who has it and who lost it, it's all sketchy on the ice some days, but for the F-er Hockey Championship Game at Augsburg College it was anything but. Battle Royal would be generous to say the least. Havoc and mayhem are more accurate I would say.

It was the perfect Saturday morning. 7:30am, 20 players, and a full hour and thirty minutes to give out what yours truly heard in the corners, nooks and crannies of Augsburg Arena..."This is the most AWESOME F-er Hockey Championship Game ever!" And boy was it. There was music, numbers, fun, and plenty of old time hockey attitude, and of course coffee and DONUTS. Indeed, these boyz know how to put on the foil. Your Commissioner was more than just a little happy about out it...he was down right IMPRESSED.

Oh sure there were plenty of stars on ice, even though a couple of key hot-shots couldn't make it – the play was magnificent. Fancy moves, slick passes, and bodacious goals, were all par for this course. But the spoils.... go to the victors of this ULTIMATE game of F-er Hockey.

Congratulations... Team Olympus BLUE! Triumph is yours to Parade!

Savor the flavor...see you next year.

Rock n' Roll Saturday!

By Commissar Patty
(The Commish)

Everyone loves a good time, hell I live for the joy of a good party, who doesn't. This Saturday was most excellent indeed. February 13th, our ninth game of the season, can you believe it, was absolutely one of our all time best. Perfect weather, perfect numbers, and of course perfect donuts courtesy of yours truly... The Commish.

I hate to brag about performance issues, but let me just say, the "cats" were hot last Saturday. Good goals back and forth, and a generous amount of passing. If I didn't know better, the game has hit a new level of quality.

Of course we had our little nicks and bruises too. Doug Kinney took a little pop in the mouth, but just like the incredible F-er Hockey professional he is, he shook it off, and skated on to glory. And as always, the "Bring a Friend to Saturday Hockey Program" continues to with a couple of fine new additions of my friend Tim, and Bob Simon's friend Patrick.

Finally, after the classic "Just one more goal" game, everyone left satisfied, spent, and well fed.

God bless you Holiday Pantry...

The Suite Life of Zak & Coty

By Commissar Patty
(The Commish)

If you could have told me the weather outside would be as predictable as controlled meat locker at Rainbow, then I would say let's play in there. But no.... rain glorious rain. Good grief, it wasn't pretty but it got the job done last weekend. At first I thought, hmmm... is anyone going to show up for this nightmare? What a dilemma, considering it was Steverino's first game of the season, and it looked like it was going to monotonous mix up of two on one. Luckily, Dan "Pinky" Olson brought a generous supply of Lund's Donuts! The good news... eventually five more players showed up for sweet game in the RAIN. We could have made yellow snow cones out the rink once we were done with it, yikes!

This last Saturday on the other hand – threw us back hard into the freezer for a nippy zero degree puck drop. Ironically, a much wiser Johnny Christiansen opted out adding to his 'Frost-Bitten-Finger' collection much to our chagrin. And a late start too. Our cantankerous little rink attendant was not present to give us our typically sweet early ice. This time, we got 'Mister I'll Take My Time Guy,' and boy did he, laboriously shoveling the corners. We started thirty minutes late dammit! None the less, it was sunny and it got even better as it warmed up.

Andy Mack Suspension!
Audacious indeed! NO DONUTS! You should have seen their sad faces... the heartache, the joyless anguish. In fact, if I didn't know better, I could have sworn, but not certain, Bob Christainsen was crying... no blubbering really, in the corner of the warming house. "Why, why, why!" I think he said... or "Sprinkled Donuts, I miss you." Anyway, it was undignified truly.

Other than that...It was "The Suite Life of Zak & Coty!"

Old School Musty

By Commissar Patty (The Commish)

Warm and cuddly...what a sweet treat indeed. Really, what more can be said about the balmy weather the F-er Hockey crowd enjoyed last Saturday at our frozen outdoor plaza of wonderland and goodness...known as Strachauer Park. And the good folks of hockeyland showed they cared too, no doubt. Twelve players in all. Indeed, your Commissar relished in the glory of another successful adventure of the outdoor season.

Talk about bringing the Old School gear...Wow! One of the boys (Andy) dug some goodies out of his mom's basement for sure. All time classics, vintage in glory. His helmet even had the garage sale price tag still on it! In addition, our man Peter showed off his NEW Black Hawks jersey to boot. A generous gift I might add from Mark. Very nice and menacing too.

Finally, let's look at the awesome side of ugly. Even though, this was perhaps the ideal conditions for excellent play...weather, players, time – all the the things that make a quality morning a lasting memory, the purity that makes living a life worth while. In reality, it's the injuries my friends, the injuries we remember most. And who will forget, our big man KK falling on his tail bone.... awful, simply awful, you should have seen him laying there....uh hmm, not good, not good...

But then we say "Get off the ice man, we want to play!"

After that we eat donuts, Yay!

Just Dessert!

Commissar Patty (The Commish)

EL DORADAO indeed! It was a virtual "schmorgasboard of delight"...a parade of pastries and donuts from our man MK after the big game this last Saturday. What more can be said about the the sweet goodness from The Bakers Wife bakery... bon appetit? Let's face it, the man went all out to treat this crowd right. In fact, I would say it was NEW level in post hockey breakfast. Boy...did we deserve it! What's next Eggs Benedict?

COLD...don't make me say it!
Yes, another frigid morning on the sweet frozen sheet of Strachauer Park. This time -14 below in the parking lot. There was crying...I won't say who. Certainly not as cold as last week (-15 below) but cold non the less. Yet we had the numbers! Fortunately, by being so early, we always enjoy the City of Edina giving us the best in freshly flooded ice. We even got the City Truck Driver to open the warming house for us.

Score one for the F-er's!

F-er Hockey Old Time Saturday Morning Fun

By Commissar Patty
(The Commish)

Hockey on a Saturday morning...ummm what could be better. Good times, good times. This last Saturday was no exception indeed. There was talk of cold weather. Oh it was cold all right... -15 below 0! That's right, it was colder than a you know what... in a you know what, and that my friends is pretty cold. But guess what girlfriends... we got 12 players! And it was AWESOME! Look how happy this mofo is!

Dental Tragedy

Now I'm not going to lie to you. The glee of playing in super cold weather with guys dedicated as hell to playing great hockey does come with with a little tough love, no doubt. Unfortunately, the hard law of hockey came down on one of our classic hockey journeymen... the infamous Tony/John (I'll explain his handle in the future). Indeed, I know a little about chipped teeth playing hockey, (with my own knocks) but the poor guy was on sad end of that often told story last Saturday. The good news, Tony/John informed of his dental appointment success earlier this week and he's ready to GO!

So there you go... now let's play some hockey and eat donuts!